3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Your Man Anal For Christmas

When it comes to buying your dude a Christmas gift, things can get tricky. I’m sure he’d love a rolex or a new whip, but you probably don’t have that kind of dough. You don’t really want to end up getting him a pair of socks and boxers like last year, so you decide to get creative. You think to yourself, “what does he really, really want? What has he asked about before?” And then you realize, “he’s been asking to have anal for months now! Maybe that can be his Christmas gift?”

In theory, this may seem like a good idea. Dudes love sex, they love ass, and you know that putting it in your booty is something that he wants. However, it is absolutely not an appropriate Christmas gift. Here’s Why:

1. You put absolutely no effort in

If you’re both broke 20-somethings, neither of you may expect a lavish and expensive gift. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with something small or handmade as long as there was effort behind it. However, what effort did you put in to offer anal? I mean, seriously. Did you give yourself an enema? Buy some lube from CVS? Refrain from eating Mexican food for two days? While that’s all well and good, your man is probably spending a couple hours a day pondering what he should get you for Christmas, while you’re just spreading your cheeks and calling it a day.

2. Sexual Favors Aren’t Privileges

Using sexual favors as a “gift” is wrong on so many levels. Giving anal as a gift is about as bad as giving a blowjob in return for a favor from your man. If you’re in a relationship, you should want to do sexual things with your dude, that’s the whole fun in it. While every guy enjoys a good blowjob, he’s not going to enjoy it very much if he knows that you’re only giving him one so that he’ll help you out with your accounting homework. In a healthy relationship, you should not only both be wanting to do sexual favors for each other, you should want to help each other out without bribery. If you never want to do anal, that’s fine. If you do want to do anal, let your man know and prepare for it together rather than you presenting it as a holiday gift.

3. How The Hell Are You Gonna Wrap That?

All I can imagine while writing this article is a big frilly bow on an ass. Imagine waking up to that on Christmas morning! I don’t think most dudes would be pissed…but I mean, seriously. Are you going to write up a coupon that says “valid for one anal sex session” and put it in an envelope? Are you gonna paste a Christmas sticker to your ass that says “stick dick in here?” If you’re seriously giving anal as a Christmas gift, I hope you don’t expect much in return.

Photo via Bear Insider

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