26 Thoughts Every Girl Has During Morning Hanky Panky
1. Yep, there’s definitely something rubbing up against my bum right now..
2. Should I pretend to be sleeping? It’s way too early for this.
3. Okay, I don’t think I can keep fake sleeping anymore.
4. OMG, seriously what time is it?!
5. Can I hit the snooze button on his d?
6. How do I politely/seductively tell him that I’d prefer to get it on after 45 more minutes of sleep (or you know, two hours)?
7. Oh wait… that’s actually starting to feel pretty damn good.
8. How am I this ready at 8 am?!
9. No, no, don’t try to kiss me; I think my breath still smells like cheap vodka and buffalo chicken taquitos from 7-11.
10. Okay fine, you can kiss me as long as you keep doing what you’re doing with your hands down there…
11. I wonder if this counts as fasted cardio?
12. This might be the most productive I’ve been on a Sunday morning since I used to go to church…
13. I wanted french toast for breakfast, but I guess I’m getting d instead.
14. Yay protein?
15. I really don’t want to know what my hair looks like right now…
16. Or my make-up…
17. Oh, looks like the remainder of my make-up is smeared on his white pillowcase, oops?
18. Please don’t make me get on top right now.
19. Actually, might as well get an o in if I’m already up…
20. I hope his roommate is a deep sleeper.
21. Or maybe we’re turning him on?
22. This boy better buy me a breakfast sandwich after this…
23. With hash-browns.
24. Ugh, if he keeps doing that, maybe I’ll buy him a breakfast sandwich.
25. Maybe waking up at 8 am to suck d wasn’t such a bad idea after all!
26. But I hope he knows I’m going back to bed now…