25 Things Not To Say To A Guy After Sex

As a girl, it tends to be relatively easy to get a guy in bed with you (after all, they’re guys). What might not be so simple though, is trying to get him to return after that first f*ck. Sometimes, he’s just an assh*le, he’s got commitment issues, or he lives 3,000 miles away. Other times, you freak him the f*ck out. Here are things you should never say to a guy right after sex.


1. “Was that it?”

2. “Are you okay?”

3. “How many other girls have you slept with?”

4. “I can’t believe I cheated on my boyfriend for that!”

5. “How do you feel about abortions?”

6. “If we accidentally made a baby, what would you name it?”

7. “I lied, I’m not actually on birth control.”

8. “Maybe I should switch to girls.”

9. “So…what are we?”

10. “Does this mean you’ll come meet my family for Thanksgiving next year?”

11. “You might want to get tested now.”

12. “Woooh! Number 97!”

13. “Will you come to my senior prom with me?”

14. “My dad’s picking me up and says he wants to come in and meet you.”

15. “I faked it.”

16. “I didn’t know penises came in such small sizes!”

17. “I guess your ex was right about you.”

18. “That was quick…”

19. “Well, the other guy I’m f*cking does it like this…”

20. “Where is the bathroom?”

21. “That was…interesting.”

22. “I didn’t even break a sweat.”

23. “So, what are we going to have for breakfast?”

24. “My ex-boyfriend wouldn’t ever let me get on top like that.”

25. “Wanna try it again, but with the lights off this time?”

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