16 Ways Guys Completely Kill The Mood In Bed
Sex is never like the movies, we know. We’re also not f*cking movie stars (or even guys with a car) most of the time, sadly. However, some sexual encounters can be way more awkward than others. It might be because you barely know your partner, because you’re having sex at his grandma’s house, or because you got way too drunk—but sometimes, it’s the guy’s fault:
1. Checking their cell-phone
Really? If Candy Crush is more exciting than my double D’s, you can leave.
2.Refusing to kiss you after you suck their dick
Are you 12 years old and grossed out by your own semen? Then maybe us girls should be too, have fun finding someone else to suck your dick!
3. Trying to take a snapchat after (and/or during)
I get it, you want all your friends to know you hit, but asking me to take a pic of my boobs while I’m on top is just a bit rude (unless I’m into it, of course).
4. Not shaving prior
It’s really hard to pretend I’m enthusiastic about sucking your dick while I’m desperately trying not to get your pubes stuck in my teeth…
5. Trying to slip it in discreetly
As if I’m not going to notice you trying to jam your dick inside of me? If I’ve already told you I don’t want to have sex, you need to take the hint and hope for a blowjob.
6. Mentioning another girl
Girls are self-conscious, we don’t want the idea that you’re comparing us to another chick in bed (even if you’re not), just don’t mention anything else with a vagina (including your mom).
7. Not reciprocating giving head
69 is infamous for a reason, because if we give head, we want some in return!
8. Being too eager
Sure, the whole passionate tearing each other’s clothes off thing is sexy in movies. But in real life it seems like your about to bust your nut and are rushing through everything to get to the main event—not sexy. Besides, by now you should realize that us girls need foreplay.
9. Pushing your head down
I’ll get down there eventually, I promise. But if you push my head down, I might change my mind.
10. The long lost condom
Please keep your condoms in your nightstand, I don’t need you searching through the mess of your room for one when I’m ready to go (or worse, running over to your roommates spot and seeing if he has an extra).
11. Pressuring you
Just. Stop. No means no. Haven’t you learned that by now? Begging us for sex is never going to make us want to give it to you.
12. Asking for anything at all, actually
This isn’t a classroom, you don’t need to raise your hand. If you want to eat us out, do it. If you want to spank us, do it. If we want you to stop, we will tell you. But please, God, don’t ask us to do anything (unless it’s something painful, that is).
13. Taking too long to bust
Sucking dick can be fun, but not for an hour. Same goes for sex. Boys seem to worry about busting too fast, but it’s taking too long that really is what hurts (mentally and physically).
14. Giving you stage-fright
We really appreciate that you want us to cum first, it’s awesome! However, us girls can get performance anxiety too. If you keep asking us when we’re going to cum, chances are that we won’t.
15. Rubbing you like they’re your grandma
Cuddling is cool, but sometimes boys go too far (especially when we’re trying to sleep). Some fondling is nice, but creepily running your finger(s) on non-sexual parts of our body is just weird. Stop.
16. Fooling themselves
Poor boys, sometimes they really think they have it going on, and they don’t. The ultimate is when they make a comment on how wet you are, when you’re barely wet at all. It’s equally sad when they think they’re rubbing your clit and making you crazy, when they’re really rubbing the completely wrong area and you’re grimacing in pain. There’s never really a way to tell the poor dudes when they’re completely off, is there?