What people freaked out about online this week
Hello, world and welcome to another edition of everybody’s favorite Internet rage round-up: 15 Minutes of Infamy.
This week, we have a lot less to talk about because instead of freaking out about 80 million non-stories, people had a lot of real things to focus on. Like Manchester and James Comey’s hearing.
But people still found some relatively dumb things to freak out about.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
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The birth of George and Amal Clooney’s Twins
On Tuesday, Amal Clooney gave birth to two little twins named Ella and Alexander that will probably have millions of followers on Instagram by the time they’re twelve.
While most of the Internet was ready to be deceased by the news, a handful of people hoisted themselves on the highest horses they could find and pretended to not understand why this was breaking news.
Why do I care
— Erik Young (@erik_young12) June 6, 2017
I will sleep better now. Thank you. In other news, my kid fell and skinned his knee.#BREAKING
— Max Ammo (@jimmy_sivec) June 6, 2017
My thoughts entirely. Couldn’t believe it when my phone did the news flash alert. It’s hardly ‘big news’.
— Gavin Butler (@BubbaofHalifax) June 6, 2017
Misuse of breaking news. Especially in light of recent terrorist attacks.
— James G.H. Bray (@JamesGHBray) June 6, 2017
got an emergency notification from BBC that George Clooney’s wife gave birth to twins. Congratulations @BBC for having a slow newsday #bless
— R I C K (@Rocket_Rick_91) June 6, 2017
While the birth of two new celebrity spawn isn’t as big of a deal as a terrorist attack, sorry, it’s still news.
And it’s still breaking news — which literally just means news that is super new — because the AP reported the news as soon as it happened.
People care when famous people have children. And more importantly, they will probably click on the story to learn more or see if there are any pictures. Because babies can be cute when you don’t have to hear them or worry about them throwing up on you.
Also, breaking news: saying you’re above caring about pop culture news doesn’t make you a better person, it just makes you a pompous asshole.
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Jessica Simpson’s bikini pics of her daughter
In case you’ve never scrolled through Jessica Simpson’s Instagram feed, as I confess, I have never done until just now, you’ll find that she posts a lot of pictures of her children.
And on Tuesday, she posted a picture of her daughter wearing a frilly little bikini and striking a diva pose with her scooter.
And people had rage strokes.
“This is beyond inappropriate. Why would you specialize your daughter and put a photo like this on IG for the world to see?” remarks @freelancerjourn. Although TBH, for a freelance journalist, @freelancejourn does not have a way with words. We’re pretty sure they meant to say “sexualize” instead of “specialize,” but who knows.
And @theres_something_about_larry agreed saying, “I can see it. Those are grown up poses, in a bikini with duck lips. I get why people are commenting that it is sexualization of a young girl.”
While numerous of Jessica’s most devoted stans came out of the woodwork to tell these haters to go to hell, @hapafam said what we were all thinking. “#judgementalpeople only those #perverted will read too into this…”
Truth hurts, don’t it?
Kyie’s camo gear
On Thursday, Kylie Jenner unleashed her brand new camo print merch on the world and the world was not having it.
READ ALSO: Kylie Jenner is selling camo wedgie bikinis
Some people were pissed that she “stole” camo from Destiny’s Child.
White Media: “Kylie Jenner starts new camo trend”
Destiny’s Child: *Cough* pic.twitter.com/fIt2irf6SP
— Sammy Salsa (@SAMMYSALSA84) June 8, 2017
Destiny Child’s didn’t wear camo bikinis 16 years ago in Survivor video for you to say Kylie is the one to start the trend. Respect yourself https://t.co/bo8H6xZGZV
— c (@chuuzus) June 7, 2017
Miss Tina did not put in the hours on that sowing machine to be slandered and denied recognition.
— 💋🌹KING SUCIA💋🌹 (@specialksb) June 8, 2017
Which Teen Vogue decided to call cultural appropriation.
Yes, I know that headline makes it seem like Twitter was falling over itself to accuse her of cultural appropriation, but just read the story. None of the tweets they selected even mention the term “cultural appropriation.”
The only people saying Kylie did that was Teen Vogue themselves.
But then, the plot thickened. Some people accused Kylie of “stealing” the camo designs from indie designer Plugged NYC. The resemblance is pretty uncanny.
Here are my thoughts.
#1 Destiny’s Child does not own the rights to camo. They wore it YEARS ago when hundreds of other people were already wearing camo because it was on trend.
Also, while we’re at it, let’s talk about trend cycles. Destiny’s Child may have helped camo become cool 16 years ago, but trends don’t last for 16 years. Most of the time they don’t even last for two years. Kay?
#2 Teen Vogue doesn’t know what cultural appropriation is.
#3 Yeah, it looks like Kylie copied that designer, but at the same time, how can you really copy clothing that’s not really original in the first place, you know? Like camo pants with a camo sports bra? C’mon.
Until next week.
Stay mad, fam.