11 Clothing Trends That Scream “Suburbs”
Remember when we warned you guys about the makeup and hair lewks that’ll make you look like you’re visiting from the suburbs? Well the clothing and shoe faux-pas we’re about to warn you about are way more noticeable and therefore even worse social suicide than wearing an intricate up-do.
Please, for the love of God, leave these items at your parents house and don’t take them into the city with you. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb, and not in a good way.
1. Riding Boots
Thigh-high boots may be everywhere and slightly overdone, but that doesn’t mean you can get away with rocking your old calf-high boots. No siree. Riding boots are even worse. They just scream “preteen horse girl that spends all of daddy’s money at Jamba Juice.”
READ ALSO: 9 Hair & Makeup Trends That Scream “Suburbs”
2. Designer Denim
Logos may be coming back, but save the bougie denim pockets for your 2000s themed birthday party. A city girl is way more likely to buy a $5 pair of thrifted jeans than spend $200 on name brand denim.
READ ALSO: The 2000s Beauty Items We’ll Never Get Over
3. MILF Jeans
— Kendall Jenner (@kendallsoutfits) October 15, 2016
Skinnies are losing their domination on the denim scene, and flares are coming in hot, but these in-between MILF jeans are still a no-no in the big city.
I know these are socially conscious or whatever, but instead of buying these fugly shoes, just donate money to a good cause.
5. Prom Heels
Metallic and glitter are glam, these sparkly strappy prom shoes are not. Kitten heels might be allegedly having a comeback, but keep the bedazzled Nina shoes in your parents’ house. Or better yet, throw them out.
6. Yoga Pants
It’s strangely cooler to wear sweatpants (or joggers) than it is to wear yoga pants these days. This might be because these are just so overdone, or maybe people are mad that yoga pants are polluting the seas?
While jeggings were jeanius in theory, they never actually looked legit IRL. You could always tell they were leggings and not real jeans. With jeans taking a looser fit these days, the painted-on effect of jeggings just makes you look like a desperate housewife.
8. Push Up Bras
Vogue weirdly declared boobs “not on trend,” and while that’s pretty psycho, they kind of had a point. It’s no longer cool to walk around with your boobs so high they look like they’re about to hit you in the face. In fact, it’s way more trendy to walk around with no bra at all and let your natural boobies fly free. If you must enhance your lady lumps, go for something booty-hugging instead.
9. Michael Kors
Remember when Nicki Minaj rapped about Michael Kors? Yeah, that was when the brand peaked. As soon as every Marshall’s and TJ Maxx in the suburbs started stocking MK like liquid gold and suburban moms started buying it up, the brand’s cool factor immediately got killed. If you can’t afford a designer bag, just don’t get a designer bag, nobody’s judging you. We will, however, judge you for wearing anything with a visible Michael Kors logo. Sorry.
10. Ballet Flats
Honestly, how are people still wearing these horrible things? They haven’t been the rage since, like, 2006. And unlike other trends from the era, they’re not predicted to make a comeback anytime soon. They’re not comfortable either, and definitely not more comfortable than a pair of Adidas sneakers which would actually be on trend.
11. Bandage Dresses
Ugh, I know this is a hard one to let go of, but please refrain from wearing a bandage dress (or skirt) for your girls’ weekend in NYC. Nobody dresses up this much for clubs that actually lives here, and bandage dresses peaked when BeBe was still cool (and in business). I know they’re flattering as fuck, so maybe keep these in the back of your closet in case they make a comeback.