The 1 Mistake Everyone Makes on First Dates

Many studies have shown that the more dates you go on, the less likely you are to find love.

And sorry to say it, but it might be because you’re being too picky. That doesn’t mean you need to lower your standards, though — just consider your approach a little differently.

In an interview, matchmaker Maria Avgitidis, founder of Agape Match, recently explained dating to us in a way that you’ve probably never considered:

“Recognize that the purpose of a first date is to go on a second date. A first date is not the time to discover if this person will be good husband/wife material. You should simply decide if this person is suitable to get to know better. So many people put a ridiculous amount of weight on a very elusive ‘spark’ on a first date, when the reality is that most healthy and successful relationships developed chemistry over time.”

Doesn’t that make sense? Instead of going to a date expecting to immediately recognize the other person as your soulmate, your goal should actually just be to decide whether you want to go on a second date.

There is nothing wrong with being picky and having standards, specifically when it comes to how you deserve to be treated. But it seems that so many of us are searching for “the one” or making a mental checklist of the “perfect man” that we’re shoving all other options away before even getting to know them.

It can be so easy to dismiss a first date dud because you didn’t like the way he wore his hair, or he hasn’t heard of your favorite band, or he didn’t make you burst out laughing in the duration of your hour long date. But you’re not going to find your Prince Charming right away. In fact, you may not even know that it’s him initially. Sometimes, love comes with time. First dates are almost always awkward.

Don’t confuse passion for an unhealthy relationship, and don’t enter a relationship with someone because you’re feeling down on yourself. Your significant other isn’t there to provide a false sense of confidence, he’s there to love everything that you already love about yourself.

And even if you don’t love every single thing about your partner on a first date (i.e: his taste in pizza) that doesn’t mean that it’s a barrier to your future relationship with one another. Besides, if he doesn’t like buffalo chicken pizza, that means more for you! 

Image via Vogue

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