What’s Wrong With Harem Pants Though?

Rula Al-Nasrawi is a Columbia Graduate whose writing has appeared in ViceThe Atlantic, and other online publications. Her first language is valley girl. Californian bred, NYC residing. @RulaOfTheWorld

The other day I was on an airplane reading a semi-recent issue of Allure magazine, and flipped to an article titled “Over and Out: The 9 Style Trends to Retire in 2014.” First of all, what am I even doing reading magazines like this? I’m sitting here writing this in a UC Santa Cruz banana slug tank and boxer shorts with poodles on them. Clearly, fashion is not my priority. Right now, looking like John Travolta a la Pulp Fiction at a 3rd grade sleepover is my priority, Nonetheless, I was still tempted and decided to read on. And of course, my ENTIRE outfit was on that list: sock bun, flatforms and harem pants.

Ok so even though I would never call myself a slave to fashion trends, my heart sank when I saw the words “harem” and “pants” on that list. Sock bun, ok fine, they’re a little creepy. Flatforms, I can get over it. But HAREM PANTS? I live in my harem pants.

For the sake of Fashion Week, I’ll describe harem pants. They’re simply baggy, comfy pants with a drop crotch. Think Aladdin or an MC Hammer video. Or Aladdin IN an MC Hammer video. Anyway, I got a little upset when I read that some people don’t find my all time favorite pants flattering. As an Arab American, I was a little pissed off too, because no offense but my peeps invented the harem pant. So can I please wear my semi-national dress without being condemned by the fashion world?

I just don’t see how they’re not awesome. Am I missing something? They give you more space and they’re mad comfy. You definitely shouldn’t kick people in them; I learned that the hard way when I ripped the crotch of my Zara patterned harem pants while attempting a roundhouse. But whatever, if you’re planning on kicking people that day just wear something else.

Maybe whoever wrote this list just doesn’t know how to wear them right. If you’re gonna rock the harem pant, you need something tighter fitting on top to balance the outfit out. Throw on a crop top or just a slim-fitting t-shirt and you’ll be ready for stylish hammer time. Serious.

Even though Allure shattered my world, I found that not everyone is done with my favorite pants, so I’m a little less traumatized now. As for whether or not they’re on the runway right now for Fashion Week, I wouldn’t know since I’m never invited to any fashion shows. Maybe it’s because I’ve showed up to each and every one with harem pants on. Oops.

 


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